Hair, hair, everywhere (‘cept on my head, for the moment.)

I’ve always wondered if I’d look good bald.  For me, this is a very important subject – because I’m going bald anyway.  I used to have very long, full hair with a high forehead.  It was nice.  I liked it.  I could do things with that (though, I rarely did much to it.)

But over the years it started falling out.  I held on for as long as I could – but you could see it getting worse and worse.

Eventually, I cut it – not real short, but short enough to be above the collar.  What happened shocked me – I liked it.  I had gotten so used to long hair I was SURE I was going to hate it, but it looked great!

The thing to know here is that I’m vane in weird ways – I like to dress fairly specifically, and I like my hair to look a certain way.  When it’s trimmed up, I take pretty good care of it.  When it’s not, well, it slowly goes feral on it’s own.  The problem with my weird vanity issues relates to change – I’m afraid of new hairstyles and new clothing options.  And trust me, when it comes to clothing, I need a MAJOR style over-haul (and, that’s slated to happen when I reach certain budget points.  I’ve got jeans that are as old as 7 years, and the only new shirts I’ve bought in the last two years were some really cheap Walmart shirts.)

The next major hair cut change had me buzzing it heavily – about 1/2 inch long all around.  I was pretty iffy on that haircut – I had liked the previous one, but, sheesh, this was almost too much.  And for overcompensation, I didn’t get another haircut for WAY too long – it got sort of shaggy again.  It was getting to be way over due for a haircut.

Here’s the absolute truth about something I don’t like to admit:  I’m horribly afraid of going bald.  The fiscal side of me and  the part of me that doesn’t like to be dependent on things like medicine or Rogaine refuses to spend money on keeping my hair.  It’s a sort of insanity how the two sets of attributes battle against each other.  But when you get right down to it, I’m afraid of being bald and looking completely stupid as a baldie. For a guy who’s not afraid of a whole lot (and generally has a broken fear circuit anyways) it seems pretty stupid, but there it is.

But, I’ve also wondered… what WOULD I look like bald.  Maybe I wouldn’t look that bad completely bald.  I would always dismiss the idea, and move on.  And if someone mentioned the idea of shaving it off, I’d get all uptight and say no way.

It just so happened that I was at a party with friends, and Tedd happened to be there – pretty cool guy, btw.  Tedd has had a shaved bald head for quite a while.  Talking with Tedd and the other guys there about shaved heads got me to thinking.  What if I didn’t look that bad after all?  And could I really override that stupid fear to find out?

I posted on Facebook about it to get a little feedback.  The process was pretty simple – cut it off with clippers, then shave it.

It finally came down to a moment where I was getting ready for a shower, and happened to think about it a moment… “Oh heck with it, let’s find out…”  Two minutes later, I had a sink full of hair – I buzzed it all off, then stepped in the shower and shaved down to the scalp.

The first pic I posted on Facebook got a whole lotta positive and shocked feedback – quite a few people seemed to like it.  But the most important one was me:  I liked it.  My bald head didn’t look stupid!

But, there’s a test it had to pass – there were three people who’s opinion I valued enough for it to make a difference.  No ONE person would cause me to grow it back – but if all three of ’em disliked it?  Well, that’s different.

My girlfriend at the time didn’t like it.  Hm – that’s not good.  Strike 1.  (I iknow, some people would say that a significant other vote should be the most important one.  There’s a reason why it’s on the top of the list – it DOES matter more, but, I’m stubborn so it’s not the only vote I listened to on this issue.  And since having a significant other is a rarity, not a norm for me, this isn’t a rule that often comes into play often.  🙂

Old friend one:  “Maybe if I see it in person…”  and when she finally saw it in person, nope, she didn’t think it looked right (out of anyone who’s opinion counted, she’s the one who’s been around me the longest.)  Strike 2.

Old friend two:  “Well, what really matters is if you like it.”  OK, that’s officially strike 3 (that was her politically correct way of saying “You look like a doofus, but I’m your friend and I will support you, doofus.”)

Stylistically, it’s now a dead issue – maybe as early as next week I’ll begin the process of growing it back (which, you know, is pretty easy – instead of doing something, you just don’t do something, and it comes back.  Ahh, if only everything was that easy!)

Then it occurred to me – something had majorly changed.  The bald head was a major win – I’m now no longer afraid of going bald, at all.  If every last piece of hair falls outta my head over the course of the years, I’m fine with it – I won’t look that bad.  Added bonus – I get to see what my hair looks like at various lengths, so I can plan accordingly for my next hairstyle adventure 🙂  Giving mild consideration to the idea of doing some sort of stupid picture a day setup, and stitch ’em together for a short video that, well, just shows my hair growing.   Sort of stupid, but possibly amusing.

So, another one of those weird, rare fears goes bye bye.  I like that 🙂